Don’t stick you’re penis in a toaster!!!

Here in the UK, London’s fire brigade have made the headlines for an interesting rescue. They were called to attend, I would think as a last resort, when a man could not retrieve his member from the household toaster.

I really hope he hadn’t turned it on, but seeing as he got it well and truly stuck in there, I’d guess he had.

A toaster reaches about 1200 degrees, your cock will ignite… thats right, burst into flames at a mere 480. There’s a fact that this guy could have done with knowing before he started eying up the sexy curves and the shiny metal skin of the toasted bread machine!

Everyone’s saying this, and the plethora of similar embarrassing sex games gone wrong stories flying around recently are the responsibility of recent film adaptation of the kinky sex novel, ’50 Shades of Grey’. However I personally don’t see it. Since man got his very first erection, I’d bet he was looking for the first thing to stick it in, and in that search for a willing receptacle for said member, I doubt much common sense was employed.

This has got me to thinking, do women do the same thing? Most girls own a toy, and a female sex drive doesn’t work the same way as a male one, or maybe women are better at resolving such emergencies without involving the rescue services, after all, I never heard of a woman going to A&E with a kitchen utility irretrievably lodged in her V, but maybe it happens and women are just more practical at finding a solution.

For now, I think I’ll stick to toys that were designed to go there, after all, I’d rather have those ballbearings massaging me from the inside while the attachment hits my clit in just the right spot than a cucumber, and funny tasting salad if I forget which one I used!

 

 

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